UGH. I just spent a half hour writing this really long entry and then when I tried to add a photo, it froze up. So I'll recap:

Basically I listed the last ten birthdays I've had and how I celebrated them. It was surprisingly nauseating and melancholy.

18th birthday - I was going to tech school and lived in a dorm in Pine Ridge, South Dakota. Quite possibly the neatest landscape I've ever seen. I've never forgotten the Black Hills to this day. Also, I took pride in buying packs and packs of cigarettes.

19th birthday - I was living by myself in a shitty apartment in south Minneapolis and as much as I walked around at night, it's a wonder I didn't get raped and mutilated.

20th birthday - Gabriela was five days old and I wasn't in any mood to party. I think I went to Perkins for dinner, and my dad took me to Fat Tuesdays for a daquiri, and they didn't card me, surprisingly.

21st birthday - I was married (I hate remembering this) and we spent the morning screaming at each other and he left me alone all day long. I called in sick and just cried all day. We separated three weeks later and the divorce was final in June the following year.

22nd birthday - Some internet acquaintances brought me some pizza and beer and we hung out.

23rd birthday - I was 9 months' pregnant with Chris and not in the mood to party, obviously.

24th birthday - Me and my friends went to Chi Chi's (a Mexican restaurant/bar) and got piss drunk, sang karaoke, and at the end of the night I tried fighting with these two guys who called my friend ugly. Yes, fist fight. The cops were called, etc.

25th birthday - Woke up at 7am, having gone to bed at 4am from drinking all night. I didn't even shower or brush my teeth. I bet I smelled and looked just GREAT. I even had to take my driver's license photo that day. Ugh.

26th birthday - Got some money to buy some clothes and hung out with the kids.

27th birthday - Got a crisp $100 bill and my hair done at a nice salon.

So you're reading all this, and are probably wondering the same thing I am...where the FUCK is the excitement in my life? Where is the prince that will wisk me away to Bucharest, London, or Auckland?

I'm such a ray of fucking sunshine, aren't I?